For some reason, none of us ever get tired of these “what does X say about you?” kinds of things, so here's another one to liven up your Hump Day: What does your favorite alcoholic drink say about you? Or perhaps more accurately, what does your bartender think about you based on your drink order? These wacky little personality tests rarely have any sort of scientific basis, and this one is no exception; indeed, the original AskReddit topic from whence the answers hail is actually titled, “Servers and bartenders of Reddit, what stereotypes do you always associate with people who order specific drinks?” Whenever we wade into stereotype behavior, we have to be aware of the fact that we're talking about… well, stereotypes. But hey, given that we're probably all already thinking about happy hour anyway, let's see what today's AskReddit adventure holds for us, shall we?
I think it's also worth noting that, as is always the case with these kinds of topics, no single person can be completely summed up based on the drink they order. However, when you work in the service industry, you see a lot of people, and often all you'll really know about them is what they drink and how they behave when they drink it. As such, it's easy to see how you'd come to associate certain behaviors with certain drinks, even though there's undoubtedly much more to all those customers than you see at the bar.
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- I’m a bartender and I received a 1099-misc form from my employer with income in box 3. The bar I work at came under new ownership on Jan 1, 2020. However, they did not start payroll until Jan 1, 2021.
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So, according to the drink-slinging denizens of Reddit, here's what your bartender probably thinks about you based on your drink order. It's probably wrong, but it's still kind of funny. Cheers, everyone!
1. If you order a Cosmo…
These days, I suppose it just means that your bartender assumes you still think it's 1998.
2. If you order this very specific brand of whisky…
For the curious, Pendleton is a Canadian whisky (and yes, it's “whisky” without the “e”) that was created to honor the American cowboy. A fairly recent label, it dates back to 2003; it's also known as “Cowboy Whisky.” TIL, right?
3. If you hit the Holy Trinity…
Then you are a fine, upstanding gentleman or lady. Drink up, tip well, and have a wonderful evening.
4. If you order Foster's…
Huh. That's interesting. I just would have gone with, 'not Australian.'
5. If you order a vodka and Diet Coke…
Is anyone else curious what assumptions might be made if you ordered a vodka and regular Coke?
6. If you order a White Russian…
Maybe we all just need to square with the fact that there's only one Dude, and none of us are him.
7. If you order an Old Fashioned…
Same goes for Don Draper.
8. If you're a regular and you order something you don't usually order…
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Your bartender has your back.
9. If you order these things in quick succession…
Then you should probably go hang out with the person who just ordered a Cosmo. You can revel in your '90s nostalgia together.
10. If you order soda…
“Handbag Vodka” is my favorite new term — and yes, I'm going to consider it a technical one.
11. If you order the wrong drink in the wrong place…
There's something to be said for being aware of your surroundings.
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12. But also…
You. I like you.
Images: Didriks/Flickr; Giphy (3)